dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
