i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
