Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
