I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
