i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
