i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
This is the high leading the old right now
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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