Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
