Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
