Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
