He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You took a bar mat shot.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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