So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
