Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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