How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
