If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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