Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
