cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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