You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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