I CAN MOONWALK!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
honey bunches of taint.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
