Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
