i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
