I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
