at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He better not be in your backpack
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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