Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
