I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
