I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we're making bets on your personal life
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
