he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
