If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
