I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
