i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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