When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
