i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
