Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
