I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
