Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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