Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
