He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
