Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
