just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
