it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
