your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
