R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I understand Curling. That high.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you had me at cake vodka
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
