There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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