Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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