the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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