Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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