And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
