: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This baby is an asshole
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
