this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
