Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
NoShamevember. You game?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
