He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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